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Divorce can make you emotional, especially after being with someone for long. When a relationship comes to an end, it can be challenging to adjust to your new life without your partner. In between the process of divorce, you might be even thinking about how to be happy. The fact is that a happier life after a divorce is possible! Just because you are single now doesn’t mean all the doors leading you to happiness are shut. Read on to know how to reclaim your life and find happiness after a divorce.
HealthShots consulted Gurugram-based clinical psychologist Aishwarya Raj, who shared how women can move on and easily find happiness after a divorce.
It is evident that although marriages may appear to be identical on paper, their internal workings are tangled, complex, and impossible to analyse. People experience different phases of sorrow or grief. So, how long it takes for a woman to move on after a divorce varies. The first six months after separation are often when the emotional acuity of this time peaks, says the expert. However, it might take up to two years for the mourning process.
How to move on after a divorce?
1. Allow yourself to cry and grieve
Even if you wanted the divorce, mourning the life and way of living you’ve lost is only normal when a marriage ends. Usually, it takes around half as long as you were in a relationship for you to really mourn the loss. Let go gradually, suggests Raj.
2. Be kind to yourself
Keeping things in perspective is crucial, especially when trying to figure out how to deal with divorce. If your marriage has ended and you’re feeling guilty or ashamed about it, just keep in mind that relationships require two people to start and two to finish.
3. Rely on family and friends
Rely on your close family and friends to talk about how you feel. It may be a good idea to spend time with them. When people are hurt, they can act impulsively. So, having friends and family can keep you grounded.
4. Embrace your singlehood
Celebrate the moment when you emerge from the divorce gloom. If you can afford it, go on a trip with your girlfriends, your children, or just go solo (benefits of solo travel). Divorce is a process of going through and emerging out the other side, says Raj. A reflection on this singlehood signifies that you are advancing in your new life.
5. Learn to manage money
Get up to speed on financial concerns right away, even if you paid the bills while you were married. Managing your finances well is essential to regaining as sense of control.
6. Rebuild your image
Losing your partner might cause you to doubt your identity if you have been one half of a relationship. The “we” no longer exists, so you must connect with your own identity. Start by making a list of your positive traits that are distinct from your old function as a wife or as a partner. Think of what your best qualities are and distinguishing features, when you are most effective and what aspects of yourself you value. Giving a thought to these might help you begin the next chapter in your life.
7. Create a wish list
Yes, divorce leaves a void, but it also gives you the chance to resurrect old (and new) passions that you put on hold when you were married. No matter how successful a relationship is, we always have to give up some of ourselves. You are the focus right now, so think of what you hope to accomplish before you die. It has been seen that women typically go on from divorce to leading successful lives. They start careers, travel, build and renovate their houses, and complete education.
8. Refrain from arguing with your spouse or ex-spouse
Although it may seem obvious, it can be difficult to break long-standing behaviours. Even while it could be challenging, especially if you’re divorcing a narcissist, remind yourself that confrontation is probably not going to be beneficial to either of you at this time. Take deep breaths, leave the situation when you need to, and most importantly, don’t allow your ex to stir up further commotion in your life.
9. Be aware of the distinction between a natural response to a break-up and depression
After a break-up, grief might seem incapacitating, but eventually, the anguish starts to fade, says the expert. You begin to go forward gradually, day by day. However, if you don’t feel like you’re moving forward, you can be depressed (how to keep your mental health in check after divorce).
10. Get help from an expert
True treasures are friends who will let you cry on their shoulders and sleep on their couch when you can’t bear to be alone yourself. However, speaking with a therapist or a mentor is preferable for seeking guidance on how to kick-start your new life. By seeking divorce therapy, you might discover fresh approaches to the procedure. Therapists can assist you in identifying problematic thought habits and changing them. You may learn how to handle divorce with grace and newly acquired insight by working with the correct therapist.